Rhiannon Brooke Holloway has something she needs to say..

I love you.
I need you.
I want you.

And the only reason I'm putting this here ..

______________.. is because I know you won't find it.

But, I can't keep it to myself for 7 more months.

So here you go..
your theme song.

When they call your name,
Will you walk right up with a smile on your face,
Will you cower in fear,
In your favorite sweater with an old love letter,
I wish you would,
I wish you would,

Come pick me up, take me out,
Fuck me up, steal my records,
Screw all my friends, they're all full of shit,
With a smile on your face,
And then do it again,

I wish you would,

When you're walking downtown,
Do you wish I was there,
Do you wish it was me,
With the windows clear and the manequins eyes,
Do they all look like mine,

You know you could,
I wish you would,

Come pick me up, take me out,
Fuck me up, steal my records,
Screw all my friends, they're all full of shit,
With a smile on your face,
And then do it again,
I wish you would

______________We really need to let this go.

Done with xanga.

For now, anyways.

Relationships are driving me up the fricking wall right now, just so everyone knows.

First of all

Since Brian and I have been officially broken up, I have "fallen" for very few people.. Two max. I've dated and "talked" with more than two, but nothing serious. I don't think it should really matter to anyone what or who I fall for. As you can see, it hasn't worked out either of the two times it could have had potential, so why are you worrying about it? I do not know what I want. I cannot change that, and I'm sorry if it pisses you off that I can't tell you exactly what I'm feeling. I don't want anyone upset with me, or being disappointed that I don't want a relationship right at this moment.

jdshfghds

Second of all

I am so sorry I compare everyone to previous relationships ...

Just one question though .. If I don't make sense and my reasons are crazy, then why exactly do you even want to be with me?

Obviously, I barely know anything about my own feelings and thoughts.

I think it's histerical that everytime I write in my Xanga, I always write some very thoughtful post and then intentionally erase it for no real reason.

Wonderful Christmas, I hope everyone's was the same.

I miss my friends.

I love my family.

I love my friends, too.

I don't even know what to think anymore.

I was invited to a New Year's party today .. Only it's like 8982143 Miles away.

Mwah-Mwah-Mwah

My love, Kittay made these for me.. silly boy

And this from Travis ..

I realized the other day as I was walking into Lowe's with my Mommy, that the last time I was in Lowe's I ran into you and Will in the lobby. I didn't want to go in, because that's one of the last place's I got to see you.

The other day, your Mommy dropped off a book mark with your picture and death announcement on it. It's now sitting on my mirror, where I look at it everyday and think about you.

Tonight I took Christmas candy out to your house. Talked with your Mom, Dad, and sister for a while.. Caught up on old memories. It was strange.. just so strange.

I saw your truck. That's also strange, coming home from school everyday and not having to wait in the drive way until I hear your truck coming. Not getting mud on my pants from hanging on the window.

It's almost been 4 months. I miss you. I miss not seeing you. I miss knowing you're there. I still don't understand. I still am terribly unhappy. It's still hard to think about you, to see the places you were.. and know you were here. But not anymore. It doesn't seem like it, nothing more than a really bad dream. But 4 months is a long time to be having a nightmare..